So I wrote a marginally decent 500 word introductory paragraph for this post, but WordPress failed on me and did not save my work, so f*** it. It was pretty sentimental for me and went something like “2013 flew by yada yada…I had such a great year yada yada…I am so excited to see what 2014 has in store for me…etc etc.” But real talk, from the bottom of my heart, thanks a million for following this really random and crude blog of mine. Your words of encouragement keep me motivated, and as a 23-year-old who often opts out of sleeping under the covers just to avoid the simple task of making the bed in the morning, I need all the motivation I can get. So for my final post of 2013 I thought I’d do a countdown of the top five XTINA MISTAKES of 2013. Originally it was going to be ten, but I ran out of ideas. And it’s actually four because one of these is a lie. Deal with it.
5. I bought a super stylish peacoat from The Gap and within 12 hours I lost it. I think I left it in a cab or something…I hope the cab driver wrapped it up and gave it to his wife or mistress so that at least someone is enjoying it. I bought the same exact coat the next day to avoid an ass whooping from my mom. A costly mistake…and more proof that I still do not have my shit together in the slightest. UPDATE: Mom read this post and now knows about my lost peacoat. She is not pleased with me.
4. I broke the number one rule. I gave my phone number to an Uber driver. One of my resolutions for this year is to give my number out less and workout more. I thought Uber drivers set the bar for what it means to be a professional chauffeur, but this driver thought that my spelling his weird foreign name correctly (it was on my receipt) made us best friends who ask each other things like “what’s going on in your world?” Oh and he was fired the next day and was venting to me about it. And here I am like “Leszek, take control of your life.” *said in Bane voice*
3. I met Dirt Nasty at a Lollapalooza Pre-party (shout out to Johnny Schroeder for the pass). The first thing I said to him was that I loved his Vine videos…that’s like meeting Beyonce and telling her how great she was in Goldmember. He’s done so much great work throughout his career, from soft core porn to music and movies. I loved him in Scary Movie 3 and his song 1980 is a classic.
2. Most of you don’t know that I have a small tattoo of a beautiful butterfly my lower back. It represents all the changes I went through in college, which includes gaining weight and finding my true self. Getting this tattoo tops my list of “acts of rebellion” right in front of getting a double pierce at Claires. It hurt like a motherflipper, but it’s a hit with the boys. My parents still have no idea so let’s keep this on the DL for now. UPDATE: Parents found out and kicked me out of the house. You can find me at the Best Western in Evanston right across from Nevins.
1. (This is more of a highlight than a mistake, but I think it deserves spot on this list) One of my favorite holiday traditions is the annual holiday photo shoot I do with my two girlfriends, Em and Abby. Every year we go to a “professional photography studio” and get a full-out Christmas themed photo shoot, complete with an ethereal snowflake backdrop and 80s Christmas sweaters. This year we even had Em’s cat make an appearance in some of the photos. They turned out beautifully.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A HEALTHY AND PROSPEROUS 2014!