Well guys, it happened. I quit my job. My last day was two and a half weeks ago and it was a long time coming. It got to the point where I was fighting the urge to stand on my desk and yell “I QUIT!” Whenever I got this urge I stopped myself by stuffing a handful of almonds in my mouth or going to the private bathroom and yelling it there like a real professional. So the new year came and I left my job soon after. If you’ve never quit a job you don’t like, I highly recommend it. Quitting a job is scary, but much like taking off your bra after a long day, it can also be quite liberating.
You may be wondering why I quit my cushy office job. Here’s my answer to you: I enjoyed the people and culture, just not the job itself. I’m grateful for the time I had there, because I did leave with lots of new friends (yeah that’s friends plural), memories (lol remember that time the internet was down!), skills, learnings, free notebooks, etc. But all jokes aside, the job wasn’t the right job for my skill set and I felt like a robot going through the day-to-day motions and not really growing.
I’m in the middle of week three of funemployment. Okay so full transparency, it’s not really funemployment because I don’t have a new job lined up, but I’m a positive person and I’m positive I’ll have a job soon. Not trying to brag but it’s been years since I’ve been unemployed, so yeah I’ve been relishing every moment of this mock retirement. I thought I’d take a break from all the funemploying and fill you in on what funemployment has been like for me. Spoiler alert: it’s lit.
Week 1: Monday morning was like Christmas morning, but maybe better? I slept in and took my sweet time getting out of bed. I made coffee and ENJOYED IT* IN BED like some kind of lifestyle blogger betch. I watched the Today Show until it turned into Hoda and Kathie, and I watched that too because Hoda is my girl. The rest of the day I filled my time with walking to and from my couch to the bathroom, from my couch to the kitchen, then back to the couch, then back to the kitchen because I finished my handful of snacks on my way back to the couch. The rest of the week was more of the same, with some exercise sprinkled in (I may be funemployed, but I’m not lazy!) On Wednesday I lit a candle, put on a record and just sat there and listened. I NEVER DO THAT! On Thursday I cooked something that required more than 20 minutes of prep/cook time. On Friday I had a stomach ache from all the snacks, so I lied down and no one told me to get back to work!
*burned my tongue real bad
Week 2: Week one was all about relaxing, but by week two the reality of being unemployed started to set in and I decided to get serious about finding a job. I beefed up my resume, sent emails, and applied to jobs. But don’t worry, I still managed to get in a lot of screen/sleep time. I finished the book I started week one (Kitchen Confidential). It was over 300 pages if you ever wondered how good I am at reading. I watched both Fyre Festival documentaries. Between the two of them, there’s a solid 30 minutes of footage of the antagonist, Billy McFarland, riding a jet ski. I can’t stand that Billy! You can’t jet ski away from your problems forever!
Week 3: It’s day two of week three. I’ve had a few phone calls with recruiters and one face to face interview since I “threw in the towel.” Things are starting to gain momentum. I sent a really thoughtful card to one of the people who interviewed me, I hope my bad handwriting doesn’t jeopardize my chances. I’ve spent more time in my apartment the last three weeks than I have the last three months…I’m glad I have stand up to get me out of the house to open mics <3. Tomorrow is supposed to be very cold. Like colder than Antarctica and Siberia. I bet the guy who called Chicago Chiberia feels really dumb now that we’re literally at a Siberia level of cold. So tomorrow I will be cacooning in my apartment, much like yesterday and the days before that. This cold weather couldn’t have come at a better time for me tbh.